With each freedom comes more responsibility

I always tell new yoga students, "you really shouldn't start this practice, your life is going to get so difficult as you look your shit straight in the face, remaining in the bliss of ignorance is inviting.  But there really  is no other choice, you can't turn back, and it is the most liberating hell that you will ever find yourself in".

We are potty training and sleep training at the same time.  

The sleep training is essentially getting your child to learn how to sleep without your assistance.  It is wrought with controversy amongst all parents.  

There are countless books about to train or not to train and most of these books spend the forward taking pot shots at the other's methods.  

They say things like, "some people think that a baby is just an inconvenience and should be trained in a cruel way like a puppy through crying it out until becoming emotionally insecure for the rest of their lives".  

The other side says "some people think that a baby should be carried around and coddled until they cannot do anything without the parent around, until becoming emotionally insecure for the rest of their lives."

 I met a couple in our neighborhood and mentioned that we had an eight month old,  they said, "oh, we've heard her screaming"  I said that we were sleep training her.  The woman looked at me and smugly said, "you mean you are trying to put her on a schedule and make her sleep at specific times".   I said, "No, I am teaching her how to fall asleep without my intervention".  The man looked wistfully from his wife to his two kids and said, "Wow, maybe WE should have done that".  I guess we won't be fast friends.

We know couples who never sleep without their children, who are getting up all night until their children are well into their elementary years and have no time away from them.  My husband stays up all night almost every night, but he does it to draw.  If he could nurse the baby, I would let her stay up all night with him.  

There is no right answer, but as someone who needs to function on a fairly articulate level during the day, I need to sleep at night and I need a few hours away from my children during weekend nap time.  My children have not proven to be easy cases.  I will tell the story of the older one some other time.

When you sleep train, the horrible screaming is enough to make you want to give up the promised freedom of a good night's sleep and everything that comes with it.  Roxy went from 27 minutes of gut wrenching cries three times a day to 1 minute in the course of two weeks.  With that new freedom of her sleeping alone comes the responsibility of doing something constructive with that time.  

On the potty training side, there is no controversy around to train or not to train. Potty trained means no more driving straight through from city to country as diapers are gleefully soiled.  It means illegal freeway pit stops within 500 feet of the last rest stop.   It means now that book time, which always lasts waayy too long, now ends with, "I have to go to the potty"  Inevitably there are songs to compose and toilet paper to be examined and overall stalling in the bathroom.  

But having two independent girls as they face the world, priceless.