Agree to Disagree

My in-laws and I disagree on one essential aspect on parenting which is parenting.

They think that we should just agree to agree that I am doing it all wrong and that my parenting is lacking in all aspects so that I should just give it up.

What a relief, only I don't know how to bow out of all of this. I gave birth to these two little beings and as difficult as they are, I have made an agreement to be their mom for the next infinity years. The in-laws feel that they are rude: the two year old threw a cute green and yellow pineapple hat across the table when gifted because, "I like pink"! and the four year old never said "Good Morning Mrs. K". or anything of the kind. They felt that there is no need to denigrate oneself to little children.

I have a collection of uneaten Nutella sandwiches and cereal bars that were demanded as well as a string of days where no one but me greets the teachers that they have spent the past year with. Every time we enter the classroom, you might imagine that my children had never seen the teachers or their fellow students, ever.

I am not sure that it is so much a reflection on my parenting as so much what my in-laws say is my raising them as New Yorkers and giving them the option of not talking to someone for any reason whatsoever.

Mind you, none of the other New Yorkers in their class act like this, they are generally pleasant and gregarious, and mine are sullen and withdrawn.

I am a salesperson and I spend all of my time trying to make strangers feel comfortable enough to spend tens of thousands of dollars with me, so I don't think I am teaching them shyness. Nonetheless, they are reticent to the verge of anti-social and they are perhaps impolite.

I would have to agree with my in-laws that I have produced two of the most anti-social children in New York and perhaps it has to do with not being a native New Yorker and somehow sanctioning the anti-social behavior that New Yorkers are so famous for. I tell them when a gross man on the street says hello that they don't have to respond, but somehow this has translated into their grandparents. Not that they are gross, they are actually quite sophisticated, but my children treat them as they would their teachers.

I will have to agree to disagree that my children are complete and utter social brats.