It seemed that her husband was having a hard time bonding with the baby a.k.a., he didn't really want to wake up in the middle of the night feedings.
My in-laws have about 10 stories about child-rearing that they like to repeat ad infinitum. One of those stories is about how when Kevin, who was a premie, thus on a bottle, would cry in the middle of the night, his dad would kick his mom gradually out of bed, so that she could give him a bottle.
There is some kind of a weird disconnect with couples and new babies, especially it seems, with the non-nursing kind. When you are nursing a baby, there is no question as to who gets up in the middle of the night for feedings. When a baby, like my husband, or an adopted baby wakes up, it seems like this could be negotiable. Apparently not.
I guess that somehow the mom, in spite of also having to go to work, is supposed to be the one who wakes up in the middle of the night, every night.
Now, I seem to remember in my wedding vows saying something about sickness and health, richer or poorer, and if times got difficult, eat chocolate. I do not, however remember, pick up dirty socks, never sleep in once we had children, or figure out all of the logistics of life with two children and a spouse.
Maybe, when we get pregnant or adopt children, we should take new vows. something like, "I vow to let my partner sleep through the night at least fifty percent of the time".
We have it all wrong, we need to take parenting vows and relationship classes instead of just wedding vows and childbirth classes.
2 comments:
You know I chose to co-sleep with my babies. When Kid was about a week old, we had him in a bassinet next to our bed. I had had a C-section and so leaning over to haul him out was out of the picture. It worked out pretty well; dad got the baby and set us up for nursing (Ha! - I swear when I started out I needed like a whole bunch of prep to do it) and I nursed. Until one night when the baby was crying and I got my husband up. He mumbles, gets up and then walks over to the dresser where I had a bunch of washcloths folded. He picks up the bundle and starts rocking it and shushing it. I was bemused and concerned - "Honey, those are washcloths" he looks at me goes "Oh?" then he kisses the bundle, lays it back down ever so gently and then fell back into bed. Heh, I brought the baby into bed that night and we fell asleep, happy as clams.
I had a friend who co-slept long before I had kids and I secretly thought "What a freak! Way to have a family bed, Neanderthal!"
But really, co-sleeping was the best thing ever...until they got to be 1 and we moved them out. Holy Hell was that awful.
I read your other post about the baby biting you - gah! The worst! I only made it 14 months as the baby started in with the attacks. Twice bitten and all of that... I told my friend about it when my baby went vampire and she's like "Oh, it's just a little baby-mouth! You can still nurse!" and I furrowed my brow and said "Imagine two razor sharp chisels chomping onto your boob. Terrible, right? Yeah well, imagine it coming from the Love of your life and then having it smile at you. Chilling on so many levels."
Look how much work your husband got himself out of with that one brilliant piece of acting. This guy's my hero.
Post a Comment