Mantra

Mantra literally means calming the mind.  A mantra is generally used to re-direct the thoughts from disturbing to higher minded thoughts.  

Here are some tantrum inducing mantras that my two year old has started with.  "Mommy, say 'you don't know what to do with me'!"  Tonight's was the most disturbing yet.  "Mommy, say 'what is wrong with me'."  Oh no, what is wrong with you?  Nothing, dear, you are perfect.  "No, say, 'what is wrong with me'!"  She broke down in tears over this one, because she wanted me to say it and I just couldn't do it consciously. 

I must be saying it to her, but I can't think of when.  I am racking my brains while she is hysterical over what is wrong with her and I can't think of when I have said this to her.  Then she shoves Roxy and Roxy almost falls over onto her head and I said it, "What is wrong with you"?  My mantra that I got from my parents was, "You need to do more".  "We need to get something done".  "there isn't time for doing anything fun, we have so much on our list that needs to get done".  

My parents were visiting recently for over two weeks and we kept trying to take them out to do something enjoyable.  They kept saying that we have too much to get done.  I am trying to erase my old mantras with things like, "I Love You"!  "You are amazing"!  There is a lot of un-doing to be done.  

What is wrong with me?

War Stories

Recently I talked to someone who invited everyone in her family to the birth, I mean to the actual birth in the birthing room.  

Like, brothers and father in-laws, and ...?  When I read Spiritual Midwifery, there were countless warnings that if anyone made you feel slightly uncomfortable, don't invite them.  Okay, as long as my husband didn't look "down there" he could be in the room, but brother and father in-law, no way!!!!!!!  

I had heard the story of a yogi that was completely silent during her labor,  I was determined to try something like this for my second birth experience.  After all, I am a yogi, I should be able to endure in silence.  

I shared this story with my midwife after enduring 3 hours of excruciating back labor (I had a bruise on my sacrum after).  She said that the only silent labor she attended was eerie and the woman had previously given birth in foxholes during the Vietnam War.  After that, I let loose... I was using very colorful language with each contraction, then I remembered the story Ram Das told about his stroke.  He had spent over thirty years chanting mantras and at the crucial moment, when he could have been dying, he said "oh shit"! 

 The yogis say that your last thought as you pass from one world to the next becomes the theme of your existence.  I certainly didn't want my daughter to become obsessed with the word I was uttering.  I changed to a really long FuOoooooMMMMMM.   At least my daughter will now be capable of changing in mid-stream from F@*# to OMMMMM